Know That Suffering is Inevitable
Buddha’s First Noble Truth is that suffering, unsatisfactoriness and stress are part of life and long-term relationships. Although this might sound depressing, if you really take this on board, your tolerance of inevitable bad times will be greater. The good news in Buddha’s Third Noble Truth: suffering can end the moment we let go of our attachment to things being a certain way. The starting point of doing this is simply bringing what Buddha called “bare attention”——observation without judgement–to our unpeasant thoughts and feelings, and to do this with an attitude of compassion and kindness towards ourselves.The aim isn’t to make unpleasantness go away but to stop struggling against it while it’s there.
What To Do
Understand that all couples of relationships, even ones that look perfect from the outside, will have periods of great difficulty. When an unpleasant thought or feeling about your partner arises, notice it and refrain from judging it.
痛苦是不可避免的
佛教的第一个圣谛就是痛苦、不满和压力是组成生命和一段婚姻的部分。虽然这听起来很让人失望，但如果你真的可以认真考虑到这一点那么你对不可避免的艰难时刻的容忍会更多一些。好消息是在佛教中第三条圣谛中讲到：痛苦可以结束当我们以某种方式放弃一段感情的时刻，这个事情的出发点只是为了让大家简单地领略佛教所说的“纯然的觉知”——不含意见的观察——对我们自己带有慈悲善良的态度来观察我们不悦的想法和感觉，这个目的并不是为了使不悦远离而是停下当不快出现时我们对其的的反抗挣扎。
如何去做：
我们应该清楚在所有的伴侣关系中，即使一方从表面看起来十分完美，他/她也会经历一些艰难的时期。当你的伴侣逐渐开始产生了不悦的想法或感觉，注意到此的同时应该避免去对此进行评判。