See Your Partner With Beginner’s Eyes
As your relationship matures, many of us stop seeing our partner for who they are in the present moment and relate to an outdate image of them created long ago. Seeing them in this fixed way invites dullness and boredom because we operate autopilot, and see them as the same old person. Budhhist practice encourages us to be open, present and curious about our partners —— to preceive them as a mystery. Jack Kornfield, a leading American Budhhist teacher, urges us to ‘see the inner nobolity’ of all human beings. This must of course include our partner. Like us, our partner is constantly changing anf deservers to be seen afresh each day.
What To Do:
Work on the idea that you don’t fully know and understand your partner. Really open up to who he is in the present moment. Let go of the baggage you’re holding onto about the relationship and meet the person who is before you right now, in this moment.
用初心者的眼光去看待你的爱人
随着我们的婚姻走向成熟，大多数人不去观察我们伴侣当下的表现如何而总去联系起他们很久以前的过时的形象。同这种古板的范式去看待他们一定会让自己感到迟钝无聊，因为养成了这种习惯以至于我们看着现在的伴侣和以前毫无差别。佛教鼓舞我们去放开眼界，着眼于现在并且要对我们的爱人保持一份好奇心——试着去把他们想象的神秘。Jack Kornfield 一位美国的佛教领导老师鼓励我们去发现人类内在的高贵品质，理所当然也包括我们的伴侣。那我们来说，我们的伴侣是持续改变的而且他们每天的新鲜感觉是值得被感知注意的
如何去做：
仔细研究一下你对自己爱人不完全了解的方面，然后真正地向此时的他打开心扉。放下你在婚姻中一直紧握的包袱并且跟现在在你面前的人相处了解，趁现在。